Well, it has now been a month (exactly a month) since the last time I posted something. But I just didn't have the time, I'm very busy at school and at work.. So sorry about that.

Lately, I got to thinking about something. I was thinking about those girls with very tight leggings, D&G shirts (also very tight) and 5 layers of foundation and mascara on their face. I thought about how fake those types are, and I thought; "Wauw, I'm lucky that I don't have to look like that!". And then I thought; "actually, I'm just as fake as them". And that was scary. Here's something I wrote when I got that feeling:

I feel fake. I feel fake when I discover that the most perfect tooth of all of my teeth is the one my dentists fixed with plastic. I feel fake when I feel the need to put on makeup every morning, just so that I can look like me. I feel fake when I discover, that I'd rather feel the way I feel in the end of a movie where the girl gets the gorgeous guy, instead of feeling the pain, misery and happiness that you feel when you are truly in love with somebody. I feel fake when I act like I really don't care about that particular guy whom I actually really, really want to talk to. I feel fake when I put on a push-up bra. I feel fake when I put on some clothes only because I saw it in the latest Vogue. I feel fake when I want to get drunk just to have fun. I feel fake when I wear polyester. I feel fake when I put on my contact lenses in the morning. I feel fake when I settle for the cheap copy of my favorite perfume because I can't afford the real one. I feel fake when I'm tired but still smile at the customers at work. I feel fake when I straighten my hair. I feel fake when I dye my hair. I feel fake when I put on a pair of high heels to bring out my curves. I feel fake.

I should watch out for my teeth. I should take care of my skin and clense it gently every night. I should allow myself to fall in love again. I should be brave and just talk to people I want to talk to. I should have my own, personal style. I shouldn't feel the need to get drunk to have fun. I should just accept the fact that I need glasses instead of putting plastic in my eye, so that every night they're running out of oxygen. I should save my money and buy the real perfume, so that the company would make more money and still make that perfume. I should be happy all the time. I should be happy with the way my hair looks. I should be happy with the way I look. I should just let go and be me.

Then I wouldn't be fake.

Now, how 'bout that?!