My body is filled with thoughts. Happy thoughts and thoughts about people I love, thoughts about how everything is going to be okay, thoughts about how great life is, thoughts about spring and all the green.
My body is filled with music. Great music I want to dance to, music I can't keep inside me, music about love, music about spring, music about people who love spring, music about the greatness of life, music about meanings.
My body is filled with emotions. Breathtaking emotions that make me feel like I'm in love, emotions that can't be expressed properly, emotions I want to share with the rest of the world, good emotions.
My body is filled with intentions. Good intentions to save the world, intentions to be an honest human being, intentions to be a better person, intentions to cure diseases, intentions to help where they need me.
My body is filled with spring. The mild spring, the fair spring that makes me think "was it ever winter?", the green spring that makes me so happy I could cry, spring, I want to say it again, spring, I want to shout it out loud, SPRING!
I feel so excited, I don't know where to put my feelings. This is something I have never felt before, and I know exactly what it is though I was confused at first. I have these crushes or "fascinations" (what you will) and I thought that I was in love, but I didn't know which crush it was. It suddenly occured to me that spring was guilty. I'm in love with spring this year, I have never felt this good. It's like everything I ever wanted, the winter depression is over. Now I can BREATHE. This feels so good.
Viser opslag med etiketten happiness. Vis alle opslag
Viser opslag med etiketten happiness. Vis alle opslag
mandag den 15. marts 2010
lørdag den 20. februar 2010
Change
I've changed.
...or at least I think I have.
It feels weird looking back a couple of years and know exactly who I was and how it felt like to be me, but then still have that feeling that it's just not the same anymore. Three years ago I was that girl who wanted to be popular, do great in school, make money to buy whatever clothes I wanted, have a lot of time on my hands, have a sense for fashion, go party and all that. Now (when I look back on that girl) I can't stop thinking about how naive and ignorant I was (I probably still am, but comparing to me now). It's so weird. I remember how I thought that I could get what I wanted, I could be what I wanted to be with the slightest exertion. I thought it would all come to me.
In the last few weeks I have been cleaning (or more like throwing everything out of) my room. I've looked everything through. I can't believe what I've been saving; schoolpapers from 1st grade, an "ice cream shop" of paper from when I was 7, newspapers with no special meaning. when I decided to keep it years ago, I'd thought "well, maybe I'll need it someday..." And today I'm able to throw it all away.
I've come to think of the fact that I've changed (as I was saying...). It's very present in my life right now, actually. I dream of very different things now, it's much more realistic. I'm (sorry to put it this way) "sorting" through my friends, 'cause I don't have much in common with the friends I had before. I have one friend left from middle school, and I feel like there's only a few new people at my school I can really talk to.
I've changed, yes. For the better I hope.
One of my friends told me a couple of weeks ago; "It's good to see you smiling like this! You look a lot happier now than before." I didn't notice until she said it. But it's true. I'm trying to figure out the reason why this is, but I'm not in love, I don't have that much money, I'm not a straight-A student, I'm just the average girl. Maybe that's nice sometimes.
...or at least I think I have.
It feels weird looking back a couple of years and know exactly who I was and how it felt like to be me, but then still have that feeling that it's just not the same anymore. Three years ago I was that girl who wanted to be popular, do great in school, make money to buy whatever clothes I wanted, have a lot of time on my hands, have a sense for fashion, go party and all that. Now (when I look back on that girl) I can't stop thinking about how naive and ignorant I was (I probably still am, but comparing to me now). It's so weird. I remember how I thought that I could get what I wanted, I could be what I wanted to be with the slightest exertion. I thought it would all come to me.
In the last few weeks I have been cleaning (or more like throwing everything out of) my room. I've looked everything through. I can't believe what I've been saving; schoolpapers from 1st grade, an "ice cream shop" of paper from when I was 7, newspapers with no special meaning. when I decided to keep it years ago, I'd thought "well, maybe I'll need it someday..." And today I'm able to throw it all away.
I've come to think of the fact that I've changed (as I was saying...). It's very present in my life right now, actually. I dream of very different things now, it's much more realistic. I'm (sorry to put it this way) "sorting" through my friends, 'cause I don't have much in common with the friends I had before. I have one friend left from middle school, and I feel like there's only a few new people at my school I can really talk to.
I've changed, yes. For the better I hope.
One of my friends told me a couple of weeks ago; "It's good to see you smiling like this! You look a lot happier now than before." I didn't notice until she said it. But it's true. I'm trying to figure out the reason why this is, but I'm not in love, I don't have that much money, I'm not a straight-A student, I'm just the average girl. Maybe that's nice sometimes.
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